Things I’ve actually heard college students say
- “Look how pretty my notes are!! Too bad I’ll never study them”
- “I might look fine in class but I’m dying inside"
- “I’ve never seen frozen and at this point i’m afraid to"
- “when the professor shows up I’m just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leave”
- ”shut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakes”
- ”Is it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this exam”
- “I need more gay people in my life I’m suffocating in straights”
- ”I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die”
- “why the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait they’re delivering them? ok buy 3”
- “i feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people off”
- “yo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight g”
- “I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian”
- “I’VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAY”
- “instead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIES”
feel free to add anything you’ve heard





























